I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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