I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
