people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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