People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
