Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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