If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
