white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
