That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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