Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
