If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't turn off my feet"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
