Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
