my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
