A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
