I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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