peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
