woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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