There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
