take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
