you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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