The maid of honor just puked.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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