Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
