god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
