I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
