How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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