I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
