Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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