If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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