I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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