We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
