we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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