my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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