32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
