get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My feet surprised me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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