There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
