I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
