i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
