i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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