i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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