Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
