It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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