Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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