Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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