Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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