and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
