So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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