If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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