I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize