Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
