is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
