If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
